the Christmas cast - Mary

I was nine months pregnant with my first son, Alex.  I was big, I was hot, I was tired and I was uncomfortable.  James and I were living in a tiny town in Northeastern Oregon.  It was an unseasonably warm mid-May Saturday afternoon when we decided we had to get new tires put on the car before Alex arrived.  It was also one day before my due date. In hind site now, this was likely not the best day to be taking care of this errand, but at the time (for whatever reason) it seemed quite logical.
We drove to our local, friendly Les Schwab Tire dealer.  Certainly they could get us all fixed up and on our way quickly just in case this little fellow decided today was the day.  We walked in to explain what we needed.  The most important part of the conversation with that nice gentleman that day was price.  We were still learning our debt lessons and we would not spend more than what we could pay cash for.  We were incredibly specific and insistent about the price.  The nice Les Schwab man assured us that there would be no trouble.  He could get the tires we wanted could afford put on the ole' Nissan and we'd be on our way in about an hour.  Perfect!  We could go browse the Wal-Mart next door until they were finished.
As we turned to head to Wal-Mart, James stopped and turned to the man.  He told him that if there was any problem to please call on our cell phone.  He gave the man the number and off we went.
ONE HOUR LATER*
We returned to Les Schwab Tires ready to pick up our trusty Nissan with new tires.  The bill presented to us at the register was quite a bit more than expected.  Shock!  What?  What is this?
The nice gentleman informed us that he only had 3 of the tires we were originally looking at.  So he chose a comparable set for us.  They just happen to be a bit more expensive.  "What?"
I am not proud of what followed.  I completely flew off the handle. "What are you talking about?" was my first question laced heavily with sarcasm.  I yelled (yes, non-confrontational me yelled) at this now-not-so-nice gentleman about everything from our limited finances to how hot, swollen, uncomfortable and tired I was.  I remember clearly reminding him that this enormous pregnant woman had just walked around Wal-Mart for an hour while he messed this whole thing up!
"Do you see how pregnant I am?  Can you see how uncomfortable I am?  Do you have any idea how angry and tired I am right now?  I do not want to deal with this right now, I'm due any day now?  If you would have done your job right, I could be home with my swollen feet up!"
I caused quite a scene in that tiny little tire shop.  My voice so loud, my face so angry, my tone so cruel.  I ended the whole thing just sobbing.  Sobbing.  Standing at the tire shop register counter just sobbing.  Hormones, sleep deprivation, anger, frustration, anxiety, swollen feet from walking the Wal-Mart aisles...it all played a role in my outburst.  It was not pretty.
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"and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."

I wonder what Mary's reaction was that night.  After riding on a donkey for all those miles, all those days.  I bet she was tired, uncomfortable, swollen, hot.  She likely just wanted to get off that donkey, curl up in bed and fall fast asleep.
I wonder if she knew she was close to delivery.  Did she feel the beginnings of the pains?  The sickness?  The "just not quite right" feeling?
"Sorry, we just don't have any space available."  Can you imagine!?
I can only guess my reaction; "Do you see how pregnant I am?  Can you see how uncomfortable I am?  Do you have any idea how angry and tired I am right now?  I do not want to deal with this right now, I'm due any day now?  I just traveled all these miles on the back of a stinky donkey, pregnant and you have NO room for me?!  Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
My tone would likely have been coarse, my sarcasm thick and unkind.  I likely would have ended by sobbing on his counter.
We don't know how Mary reacted exactly.  The Bible doesn't say.  The fact that she delivered the Son of God in a stinky stable surrounded by animals because the inn was full, is more of a side-note than a major detail.  It's mentioned only very briefly with just 10 little words at the end of a sentence.  The Bible doesn't make an ordeal out of it, just a very brief mention.  If Mary made a big to-do about it, we aren't told.
A little later on in that chapter of Luke, we're told "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." She remembered the details of that night; the birth, the manger, the stable, the animals, the shepherds.  The innkeeper?  Most likely.  And she treasured them.
I wonder how often I get all caught up in the "little words at the end of a sentence" moments in my life, allowing those "side notes" to play a major role?  How often do I get all in a ruckus about the "little stuff"?  I mean really, most stuff I get my nose all bent out of joint about are not nearly as awful as giving birth in a barn.  Really.  Yet, how many times do I neglect the treasures, even in the midst of chaos?  Do I miss the moments to treasure up and ponder because I'm still angry and stuck in the little side note moment?  Unfortunately I know there are times I do.  God provides us many moments to treasure and ponder, sometimes hidden behind a disappointment, a disaster, or a "little word at the end of a sentence."